So, as BCT slowly, s l o w l y crept by, I realized I was also going through a sort of Basic Combat Training myself. I realized that as A. changed, so much about myself was changing as well. I learned how to be patient, I learned how to be even more independent while at the same time I learned how to show A. that I was dependent on him when he needed to feel that, I learned to be more gentle (yea, I could be an ice queen sometimes-that has changed drastically), I learned what distance was, I learned to value time, and I learned that this whole MILSO thing was going to be tough-especially since I have always been very independent and that independence sparked fear in A. and made him feel that I would run for the hills during all of this distance.
So, I swallowed my pride and I accepted that if A. was going to change, then I needed to put in effort to compliment those changes. I could no longer have an attitude towards him because I was mad about something that happened a year, a month, a day ago. I needed to work through issues like an [adult] and communicate like an [adult], so I tried, we tried, and for a while it worked.
I think one of the biggest lessons out of all of this was the fact that I really learned how valuable time was. We had limited time on the phone to communicate, so I needed to bite my tongue and listen to A. I mean honestly, the last thing he wanted to hear about during his 5 minute phone call was gossip or what I ate for lunch. I made time for love, affection, listening and understanding in those precious 5 minutes that we had on the phone every Sunday.
This time apart was hard, and at the same time a HUGE blessing. I began to appreciate him again, and he began to appreciate me. We kind of grew up, but we did not grow apart.
As graduation approached and A. had more time to call, we made plans to buy a plane ticket so I could go to his graduation & family day. His family wasn't going because, well, they didn't care or didn't plan to have the money for it. All I will say about that group of people is that they are not ideal family members. My parents weren't able to go because they had something else going on, and my father ended up getting really sick, more on that later.
So I was sad for A., that it would only be me there to watch him graduate, but he reassured me that it was perfect. He was anxious to spend time with me alone. So there I was, young (23), hopeful and madly in love, about to board an airplane for the first time in my life...ALL ALONE.
So, I swallowed my pride and I accepted that if A. was going to change, then I needed to put in effort to compliment those changes. I could no longer have an attitude towards him because I was mad about something that happened a year, a month, a day ago. I needed to work through issues like an [adult] and communicate like an [adult], so I tried, we tried, and for a while it worked.
I think one of the biggest lessons out of all of this was the fact that I really learned how valuable time was. We had limited time on the phone to communicate, so I needed to bite my tongue and listen to A. I mean honestly, the last thing he wanted to hear about during his 5 minute phone call was gossip or what I ate for lunch. I made time for love, affection, listening and understanding in those precious 5 minutes that we had on the phone every Sunday.
This time apart was hard, and at the same time a HUGE blessing. I began to appreciate him again, and he began to appreciate me. We kind of grew up, but we did not grow apart.
As graduation approached and A. had more time to call, we made plans to buy a plane ticket so I could go to his graduation & family day. His family wasn't going because, well, they didn't care or didn't plan to have the money for it. All I will say about that group of people is that they are not ideal family members. My parents weren't able to go because they had something else going on, and my father ended up getting really sick, more on that later.
So I was sad for A., that it would only be me there to watch him graduate, but he reassured me that it was perfect. He was anxious to spend time with me alone. So there I was, young (23), hopeful and madly in love, about to board an airplane for the first time in my life...ALL ALONE.
No comments:
Post a Comment